The Birth of Silas, May 12, 2020

Silas Kendall Adkins

Born May 12, 2020

Normally I share photos from other people’s births. But in May, I was on the other side of the camera, as I gave birth to my third son. Due to COVID, only one person was allowed to come with me to the hospital, so my husband took photos. Not everything was captured, because Kendall was also supporting me and experiencing the birth of his third son as well. But he did a pretty good job. I took some of the photos as well, to make sure there were pictures of Kendall with Silas. Some of the photos in this blog post are also cell phone pictures to help round out the story. I’ve been wanting to type up this birth story since I delivered, but haven’t made the time until now – at 7 months postpartum. And I like details, so this isn’t short. At all. So, here is our story:

At 9 months pregnant, with severe spinal issues that caused me horrendous pain almost constantly for a good portion of my pregnancy, I was desperately awaiting the time when my third son would decide to make his appearance. His due date was May 12th, but since babies can come pretty much any time in the two weeks before or after their due date, I was hopeful it would be soon, but trying to prepare myself that he might take his time. I had been induced with my older two sons, and really wanted to avoid being induced again. I wanted to experience going into labor on my own and laboring without pitocin and any other interventions. I had been having contractions on and off for a couple weeks.

Around 39 ½ weeks I had contractions approximately every 5 minutes for a couple hours and I thought it was finally time, but my body was playing tricks on me and the contractions fizzled out. So when the same thing started happening on the day before my due date, I figured it was probably false labor again. Around 4:45PM on May 11th contractions started coming semi-regularly. They were between 3-10 minutes apart and not very intense. Just in case, I let my parents know that contractions were happening, but that I wasn’t sure it was the real thing. I texted our friend who was going to watch our older boys for us to let her know as well. And Elijah (8) and I cleaned up the house a bit and we packed a bag of clothes for him and Judah (4) in case we needed to head out in the middle of the night. Kendall brought home some fast food for dinner so we had easy cleanup. Then Kendall and I spent the evening watching Netflix while I used an app on my phone to time the contractions. Around 10PM, the contractions were still about the same as they had been all evening. Still not super intense, and also not super “regular.” I was looking for contractions that were coming at regular time intervals and increasing in intensity, and mine were still between 3-10 minutes and still pretty mild. So I finally decided “eh, it’s not happening tonight,” and headed to bed.

Around 4:30AM, I woke up needing to pee (a common problem during pregnancy). After I laid back down, I was still having contractions and they seemed a bit stronger now, so I started timing them again. I figured if they were still coming pretty regularly after an hour or so, I’d wake Kendall up to maybe think about heading to the hospital. Turns out they were coming every 2 minutes or so, and they were starting to feel stronger, but still not really that painful. Around 5:00, Kendall woke up (probably from me grumbling and trying to get comfortable in bed) and I told him I was still contracting and that I was probably going to want to head to the hospital soon. He jokingly said “Okay, well go make me some coffee,” and kind of dozed back off. I couldn’t sleep anyway, so I actually did go and make him some coffee. The contractions were getting stronger, to the point that when I had one, I had to stop and breathe through it. Bending my knees and squatting slightly and leaning over the kitchen counter was helping. Around 5:30AM, I decided I should probably call my mom and dad to tell them to start heading to us since they had an 8 hour drive to get to us. I still didn’t feel like I needed to call our friend to watch the boys, so I went to finish packing up my bag for the hospital. When I got back to the bedroom, after stopping for contractions down the hallway, I told Kendall “Your coffee is ready and so am I.” He said “ready for what?” And I said “to go to the hospital.” So I went ahead and called our friend to head to our house. Kendall loaded up our stuff in the car, I got some towels and trash bags to cover my seat in case my water broke on the way, and once our friend got to our house, we hugged our big boys goodbye and headed off to the hospital around 6:00AM.

On the way to the hospital, I enjoyed looking at the sunrise and kept breathing through contractions. Kendall was driving normal speed, but ended up behind a vehicle that was driving slower and didn’t immediately go around them. I semi-jokingly said “I bet they don’t have someone in labor in their car,” and Kendall passed by them. I wasn’t in a rush to get to the hospital or thinking it was super urgent, so it was just a nice time of chatting and breathing on the 20 minute drive. I mentioned that I was surprised and happy that I had gone into labor on my own. I thought about posting on Facebook that we were headed to the hospital, but I was in a bit of denial, I guess, because I thought, “Well, I don’t want to post it and then get there and have them say I’m just having more false labor – that would be embarrassing.” So I waited to post anything.

Cell phone photo of the sunrise that I took on the way to the hospital to give birth to Silas

When we got to the hospital, I had to stop for a big contraction in the parking lot on the way in. When we got in the door, I looked at the lady behind the desk and said “I’m super in labor.” They got me in a wheelchair and we headed up to the labor floor. Once we were in an exam room around 6:30AM – surprise! I was 7-8 centimeters dilated already! I still wasn’t in ~that~ much pain with my contractions, but I was moaning a bit during them and couldn’t walk or talk when I had one. I was definitely shocked that I was that far along already based on how contractions were feeling. And I was so excited that this was actually it! I had actually gone into labor on my own! Finally! And I was about to have my baby boy on his due date!

We got into a labor and delivery room and I got set up on a birth ball to rock and bounce during contractions. I asked for some jello because I made the mistake of not eating before coming to the hospital and they don’t really like you to eat once you get there. They brought me some jello and a plastic spoon that I then used for the rest of my labor as a distraction tool. The jello (or possibly labor itself) made me nauseous, so I kept a trashcan and then later a bucket close by just in case. We listened to John Mayer music and through all of my contractions, I focused on breathing, wiggling my toes, relaxing my body so it could open and release, and scratching or rubbing that plastic spoon to the beat of the music or the baby’s heartbeat on the monitor.

After a while of laboring on the ball, I finally got into the bed and continued working through my contractions. I was hot, so I muttered to Kendall to get me something cold for my head. He got me a cold paper towel and every now and then I’d ask him to get it cold for me again. I didn’t have any sense of time during this, so I couldn’t tell you what time I moved to the bed or how long it had been that I was laboring. The contractions were really intense at that point, so I turned inward and focused on working through the contractions and just rested in between them.

The nurse mentioned things like starting pitocin and breaking my water and I declined all of it, because my labor was progressing and there was no medical need for it. During this time, I didn’t talk unless I had to answer a question about something. I was letting all my energy go where it was needed. I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t easy. But I managed everything without any medication or epidural, which was my goal. With my other births, I had both medications and an epidural and I wanted to avoid them and experience an all-natural labor this time around.

Finally, my body felt like it was starting to push a bit. I had Kendall call the nurse back to our room and she checked me for dilation. She said I was almost ten centimeters, but not quite. While she was checking, though, my water broke with a huge splash and that sped things right up. Doctors and nurses rushed in because they suspected Silas might have shoulder dystocia because I grow ~big~ babies. I began pushing during my contractions, which were one on top of the other, putting all of my energy into moving my baby out of me. Kendall was by my side and at one point told me to look at him, so I looked into his eyes until I needed to push again.

I asked the nurse “is he crowning?” (a silly question really, because there was no mistaking that burning feeling I was experiencing as his head stretched its way out), and she said “yes!” I reached down and felt the top of his little head. After a few pushes, the doctor had me slide down the bed a bit and lift my leg back to help get Silas’ shoulders out and prevent any issues. And then, with less than ten minutes of pushing, Silas was born. The doctor told me to reach down and pull up my baby. I lifted my head and, with a huge, triumphant smile, said “Silas!” as I reached down and lifted my new baby to my chest at 11:54AM.

This cell phone photo was the first photo taken of Silas!

After delivery, we did delayed cord clamping until the umbilical cord stopped pulsing and then Kendall cut the cord.

We had our first breastfeeding session and about an hour of skin to skin time, just enjoying our sweet new baby.

Then our not-so-little guy got weighed and measured. 10lbs. 6oz. and 22 ¼ inches long!

After that, Kendall got to hold Silas for the first time! It is so sweet to see a daddy falling in love with his brand new baby.

After we got to our postpartum room, we spent the rest of the day resting and enjoying our new baby. We did a FaceTime call with our older boys so they could see their baby brother for the first time, since they weren’t allowed to come visit at the hospital.

The next day I gave Silas his first sponge bath before we headed home to take him to meet his big brothers.

They say every birth is different and that is certainly true. It is a wild and crazy ride. You go into it not having any clue how things will progress or the details of what will happen. You don’t even know the little person you’re about to meet! And then it all happens, and you make it out the other side with a beautiful, tiny and helpless new human that you are completely enamored with. It is an incredible and magical journey that takes all you have to give and then gives you back the most beautiful reward.